Howie Carr
To all of you Kennedy groupies out there, go find yourself a grief counselor.
Call the Samaritans. As the sign on the Sagamore bridge says, suicide is not the answer.
This morning, for the first time since January 1953, there is neither a Kennedy nor a Kennedy-family retainer "representing" Massachusetts in the U.S. Senate.
| Senator John F. Kerry considers himself a Kennedy-by-marriage -- as I recall his mother was related to Jacqueline Kennedy (nee' Bouvier). |
The moonbats are really in mourning now. This was worse than finding out yesterday that their Priuses may be ... unsafe at any speed.
To all you grief-stricken blow-in drifters on Morrissey Boulevard, go home to New York, mix up a pitcher of brandy Alexanders and put some Judy Garland on the stereo. Do not despair - after all, you still have Barney Frank.
Maybe someday you'll have a new generation of Kennedys to cover up for, to point out how they are turning their lives around after (fill in the blank) a cheating scandal, a drug scandal, a rape accusation, a blonde in the pond, an overturned Jeep on Nantucket, an extramarital affair with a polo player, a drug overdose, a waitress sandwich . . .
Not only that, but yesterday we learned that the last of them in Congress, Patrick "Patches" Kennedy of Rhode Island could be knocked out of office. A new WPRI-TV poll showed him with low 35 percent approval rating, and 62 percent disapproval.
Yesterday was Camelot Emancipation Day. For taxpayers, it was Christmas and the Super Bowl rolled into one.
But before we shout "last call" for the final time, let's look back at a few of the family's greatest hits.
Marilyn Monroe, Mary Jo Kopechne and the woman with the blue dot.
Not bothering to learn the names of any other politicians, from Barack Obama ("Why we ask Osama bin - Obama") to Marty Meehan ("my dear friend Andy Meehan") to Martha "Marsha" Coakley.
Patches Kennedy talking about "making mends meet," and "the fundamental process of due process" and his description of how he became what he is today: "I myself have educated myself."
Ted Kennedy, explaining in 1991 how he was informed that a rape charge was about to be filed against his nephew: "There's some additional something going on here, vaguely, and it's going to involve some kind of uh, sexual harassment on Willie on that because I was not ever, ever was told the Palm Beach police wanted to speak to me about an alleged incident of Willie Smith raping some girl."
"Do you know who I am?"
Joe Kennedy setting one of his sons on fire with illegal fireworks.
So many disasters, so little time. However will we survive here without them? 
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